Ramblings

I’m sore as a mother fucker today. And today is Tuesday which means double my pleasure at the gym. I did a cycle class at 8:20 this morning, and I’ll be at the evening class at 5:30. The scale is already down one full pound, so, I know the double workouts several times a week are already working. I’ve been trying to perfect my side-plank and in just a this last week I’ve gotten really good at it. My trainer likes to integrate going from front to side to front to side to front to side, pretty much until I say mercy.

I never smile when I do them, by the way. But I do feel like kind of a badass when I do them correctly. It’s happening more often.

On a different note, I’m waiting to be called-in to work today, so that basically means it’s a sit-and-do-emails while I wait for the phone to ring, because I can’t really do much else in case the call comes that I need to be at my spa job in 60 minutes. The weekdays are slow for now, but the weekends are always hopping. Thank God I have my other job at the chiropractor. That seems to be busy-ish for the meantime. And while I’m on the subject of work, can I just say that I am sick to death of people who get a massage and act like THEY are doing ME a damn favor by just showing up? I mean, what the fuck, people?? It’s a massage, not a root canal. How about a little happiness, a little gratitude when you walk in. This happens especially for all my chiro patients who are being treated for an injury (that their damn insurance pays for). BOO-FUCKING-HOO, the worst part of your day is getting a 1 hour massage as a part of your treatment plan? Give me a damn break. Oh, and people don’t seem to think they need to tip you OR say thank you these days. Which is bullshit. It’s a service. Tip your therapists! Let me tell you something, people are worried about this next and upcoming generation? Well it’s everyone who is older than me who are the assholes in my clinic. I’m just saying…  And back to the zen pace. Namaste, assholes.

Totally homesick for my family lately. I was happily called via FaceTime on Sunday and got to see my cute niece and nephew. I love those kids so much. I almost cried when I saw them, but I didn’t want to freak them out. Also, I love when kids talk at you on the phone, you know, like your deaf? HI, AUNTIE P! WE ARE GOING ON A WALK TO THE BRIDGE! WE CAN’T TALK NOW! WHERE ARE YOU?! OK BYE! Mind you, at this point, I’ve only said, hello. They crack me up. I look at them, and I see nothing but love and happiness and joy, because that’s all they’ve ever really know. I may be bias when I say that my sister and brother-in-law are amazing parents. I see those kids and my ovaries ache.

That’s an actual hug. He isn’t trying to kill her…in this photo.

One of best friends is literally riding through town today. He, along with thousands of other riders are making a trip from San Francisco to Los Angeles for AIDS awareness and to fund research. Donn has raised $5,000 for the cause. See? Told you he is bitchen. I’m meeting up with him and his partner later tonight. And tomorrow, I’m driving just a bit south to meet him at his campsite. I promised him I’d bring donuts. I may even eat one, myself- after tonight and tomorrows workouts and weigh-in, of course! My area has this ridiculous donut place. I think that by riding a bike 250 miles (Roughly- and only halfway to LA!), he may deserve a donut or 6. Donn is one of my best friends in the entire world. He has an amazing story to tell. Maybe one day he’ll start blogging again. I can’t wait to hug that guy.

He made me that scarf. He knits. He’s generous with his time and heart. He loves donuts. I love the fuck the outta him.

I have a weigh-in tomorrow. I really hate going to those WeightWatchers meetings and I feel like I can never just weigh-in and leave. I always get suckered guilted into staying. I used to really love my meetings, but now I just feel like it’s AA for overeaters. People at this particular location tell a lot of “war” stories. I’m over it. I don’t think we need to discuss all the fish and chips you ate over the weekend. Also, sometimes I feel like an asshole there. I tend to be fraud at times. Like, when I get an award and they ask how I did it. What I really want to say (because it’s the damn truth) is:

Well, I workout like crazy and always imagine I am running from Zombies or Careers when I’m on the treadmill. I pay a trainer to work me out twice a week, to the point of gagging. Also, I do a colon cleanse in my protein shake twice a week to flush the shit and bread out of my intestines. Also, I rarely eat all my points. Sometimes I just have wine for dinner and a FiberOne brownie. Or, if I’m still hungry I just smoke a lot of pot until I fall asleep. Oh, and the weeks where I decide to go and weigh-in, I workout THEN steam for 20 mins to lose any extra water weight. Yep. That’s right, mutha fuckas! Losing weight and gaining rewards, bitches!

Instead, I say:

I just workout and stick to my points. And I eat bananas for snacks.

This answer makes everyone happy. Because honestly, those people never want to know the truth. And I don’t liked to be judged.

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4 thoughts on “Ramblings

  1. Sylvia says:

    This is post is hilarious! I literally laughed out loud!

  2. Donn says:

    I love you friend!!!

  3. Tana says:

    again with the very last paragraph. I would LOVE to actually say that when called upon at WW!!!! LOVE YOU!!!!

  4. OMG. Your “real answer” is about verbatim what I’m thinking.

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