Almost Normal

June 1, 2012

It’s funny how the start of a month is all it can take to revamp you. Not that I wasn’t entirely motivated earlier, but now with a new month comes some new goals. I have two big ones this month:

1. Must workout 6 days a week (already practically doing that), and 4 of those days must have two workouts. So that means, one in the morning and one in the evening.

2. Lose 10 pounds this month. That’s 30 days, starting right now.

(My lovely friend, Coco, is doing #1 with me. Coco is Nicole, as mentioned in my last post. But Coco is her new badass, skinny bitch, take-no-shit name. I will now refer to her only as Coco.)

I’m off to a great start already. I had a vigorous training session with Adam, and before that I jogged for 20 minutes. Tonight, I’m going hiking immediately following work. I have to take advantage of these long daylight hours. Also, it’s a local trail I do very often, so it’s totally safe.

So while training today, Adam suggested we do a body composition measurement. This measures how much fat makes up your body as a whole. It’s only slightly humiliating.  Adam sees me twice a week, no make-up, sweating like a damn pig and sometimes gagging- so for me, him pinching my fat and measuring it is almost OK. That’s what you do when you measure your body comp- PINCH AND MEASURE YOUR FLAB.

He takes a reading from this pinchy-gun-like thing. Your back/bra/boob fat, your arms (both sides) and your waist (in front, where it’s all cottage cheesy) all get pinched and then that data is calculated by your height and age. I’m at 33-34%. Sounds kinda bad I thought, only Adam told me that 30% and below are what’s considered “normal”. Are you fucking kidding me? I’m almost within normal limits. That is insane, or as all the kids are saying these days, THAT SHIT CRAY.

Normal. what does that even mean, anymore? You see, I have been heavy my whole damn life. There were very few moments in my life when I was able to shop at a regular store in regular sizes. I was skinny for a while a few years ago, but before then I’ve was heavy and pretty much obese for as long as I can remember. Obese. Normal.

It’s weird to try that word on. I don’t feel like it belongs to me just yet. But it will soon enough… That’s the goal Adam has for me this month, to get me out of the 30’s and into the 20-29% body fat range.

When we talked about this today, I kid you not, I was all teary. That happens a lot to me now. So it may get redundant when you read these posts, but just bare with me- I cry a lot.  He also told me that the other trainers spy on me and always tell him that I kick my own ass when he isn’t around. He told me he was proud of me. A trainer, proud of me. 

Who am I now? Sometimes I don’t even recognize myself.

Normal.

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3 thoughts on “Almost Normal

  1. Sylvia says:

    I swear I got teary when you said Adam was proud of you! WTG Sis! I’m proud of you too but I know it’s not the same as hearing it from a badass trainer! Yay you!!!

  2. Tana says:

    you consistently inspire me.

  3. […] keeps coming up with a new kind of Hell for me every time we meet. But it’s been really good. A few months ago we did a body fat composition measurement, where I came in somewhere in the 33-34% range. We […]

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